Understanding and Identifying Core Values

Core values represent the fundamental beliefs you have about your life. They not only guide your behaviors, decisions, and actions but also bring you a sense of purpose and self-confidence. They serve to remind you what's important to you and the things you want more of in life.

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Why Core Values Matter

Most books and courses on self-development place a significant emphasis on setting goals. However, clarifying your values is important if you want to achieve those goals. Values give you inspiration and motivation to persist during times of hardship and keep you on track. If you pursue goals that aren't aligned with your values, it may lead to disappointment.

The society we live in defines success as achieving certain goals such as fame, wealth, status, and respect; a big house, a fancy car, and a large salary. If you identify with this standard of success, you set yourself up for unnecessary suffering because you will always be striving to reach the next goal.

The illusion of "when I achieve this or that goal, then I will be successful" leads to numerous problems. First, there is no guarantee you will achieve your goal. Second, even if you achieve your goal, it will not give you lasting happiness. Third, identifying with this belief will put you under great pressure because you have to keep achieving. If you don't, you're a "has-been," a failure, or a loser.

True success is being exactly who you are by living in alignment with your values. This doesn't mean giving up on your goals; it means using your values to set your goals.

Core Values Give Direction

Your core values represent what you value most in life; they provide the foundation for finding your "why" by determining "how" you'll get there. For example, someone with the core value of Family may prioritize family life over professional development and find a meaningful purpose as a parent.

Like many other things, core values aren't static and are bound to change as you move through life and grow. You may value learning, achievement, and promotion at a younger age. As you advance, you may value time off from work and spending time with loved ones instead.

Because the fundamental beliefs you have about your life change as you learn and grow, the values that represent those beliefs do as well. Identifying your core values will help you steer your life toward the meaning you want it to have.

Core Values Simplify Decision Making

If you don't take the time to sit down and clarify your values, you're more likely to make decisions based on whatever information you have at the time, which can lead to disaster down the road. Limiting your choices to those that fit your values ensures your behavior and actions align with your beliefs.

We live in a busy world in an almost constant state of overwhelm. Life is complex, and we are all faced with moments that necessitate a choice without having all of the information we need. We tend to believe that we have to do more research, but often we need to get clear on our values, and then the right decision becomes obvious.

If you lack clarity on what you believe in and what you stand for, it's easy to get sidetracked and waste your time doing unnecessary things or making exceptions that may lead to regret or guilt.

Core Values Boost Wellbeing

Research has found¹ that writing about your values has significant psychological benefits. In the short term, this practice can make you feel more confident, in control, and powerful and more loving, connected, and empathetic toward the people around you. It can also increase pain tolerance, improve self-control, and reduce negative thoughts following stressful events.

In the long term, writing about core values has been linked to higher academic scores, fewer physical illnesses, improved mental health, and success in various endeavors, such as weight loss and reducing self-medication. These benefits have been observed to last for months or even years after just one 10-minute writing session.

My Core Value: Freedom

Ever since I was a young child, I felt boxed in. I grew up in a small village in the Netherlands where I was expected to talk, act, and think in a certain way. Whenever I deviated from the established social norms by demonstrating any creativity, I was made to feel as if I was "bad" in one way or the other.

Moving to the United States by enlisting in the U.S. Air Force is one of the best decisions I've made so far. While initially, my feelings of oppression increased due to the military culture, I eventually found my way to southern California, where I finally felt the freedom I had always craved.

Therefore, Freedom is one of my core values; identifying it has helped me make better decisions, plan for the future, and appreciate what I have in the present.

Identifying Core Values

Identifying your core values can be a valuable exercise as it can help you understand what is most important to you and guide your decision-making and actions. Here are some steps you can take to identify your core values:

Reflect on your experiences: Think about the times in your life when you felt most fulfilled, happy, satisfied, or even distraught. What values were most important to you in those moments?
Consider your priorities: What is most important to you in life? Is it professional development, your family, financial stability, or something else?
Write down your values: Create a list of the values you find meaningful. You can either extract them by reflecting on your experiences and priorities or look at a list of example values and see which resonate most with you.
Rank your values: After you've compiled a list of values, rank them in order of importance. This will help you identify your top values and keep things simple. After you've sorted your values, take the top 3-5 on the list as your core values.
Test your values: Once you've selected your 3-5 core values from your list, try them out! Reflect on how well your beliefs and actions align with the values and make adjustments as needed; you can either use a journal or talk with friends about your experiences.

Remember that your beliefs and values will change over time, so it is important to periodically revisit this exercise and make sure your values align with your current priorities and beliefs. I recommend doing this exercise at least once a year.

Six Habits for Conquering Anxiety and Depression

I used to feel like the empty shell of a person just going through the motions of life. People jokingly referred to me as a robot and described me as overly logical without any apparent emotions. I was depressed, anxious, and didn't understand the point of being alive.

I learned the importance of analyzing my needs and wants, consuming information and resources that got me excited about life, doing what needed to be done to close the gap with where I wanted to be, and finding rest within myself to be free from anxiety and disturbances. I also learned how to trust myself and to rely on a solid group of friends allowing me to tap into an enormous amount of strength.

I summarized everything I learned in the Six Habits for Conquering Anxiety and Depression e-book to help you make the same journey. You can sign up for my newsletter on the bottom of this page to receive blog updates (never spam), and you will receive the ebook for free.